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My~decision...~

By Nini

For a few weeks the weight of the world was on my shoulders
I had to make the decision by myself because I was older
I would lay awake at night thinking of what I should choose
But I knew with either choice I would lose
The tears would dance down the curve of my cheeks
I went through this pain nightly for weeks
With every sunrise I would change my decision
In my head there was a vast division
I asked my friends who I knew I could rely on
But there answers seemed to be withdrawn
Some would tell me I couldn’t leave
The others would tell me I had so much to achieve
In the end I choose to take the opportunity
And now I sit here immersed in the Japanese community
At times I ask myself was I naïve
Then other times I just feel so relived
I can’t go back regardless now
So I will make myself a vow
No matter what happens I will always try
And that fails, my tears I’ll cry
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