Most businesses have numerous uses for numbers, both written and oral. Some numbers are funnier and more interesting than others. A number like zero has other names that are funny that aren't even numbers.

* Goose egg,

* Nada,

* Nil,

* Zip and

* Zilch

These are all funny ways to express the number zero. Even zero is funnier than the word none. Although none is funny when you talk about the two chances of a hostile takeover as 'slim and none.' A hundred dollar bill is a C-Note, a five-dollar bill is a fin. If someone is outrageously rich, they could be a zillionaire.

If you want to exaggerate a little bit, or if you have some tough news to deliver that involves numbers, add a touch of levity to help soothe the sting.

One common rule of humor that does not apply to numbers is brevity. In all other types of humor you should conserve the number of words you use. Normally you want to use the fewest words possible to get to the punch line. When using numbers in a presentation, pronounce them using the longest version possible. This gives them more punch. The digits 1,500 should be recited as one thousand five hundred, not fifteen hundred. The time of 8:15 should be a quarter past eight, not eight fifteen. '6 foot 2' should be six feet two inches not six-two.