As the saying goes: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!
Sexual fantasies are a part of a normal active imagination and playing out those fantasies can be fun. How this is done is vital to maintaining self esteem, self respect and your real life relationships.
Many men have problems accepting that women have sexual expectations, desires and fantasies. They fear their own performance will not live up to the fantasies. They feel threatened. They do not want their partner to engage in girls' nights out.
There is also a double standard with some men that it is alright for them to look at women lustfully but it is not normal for women to do the same. Lack of clear understanding and communication can needlessly cause serious problems in committed monogamous relationships. It can also hamper the development of new intimate dating relationship.
If you want to have a fun on a girls' night out:
1.Let your man know that it is about fun and fantasy. 2.Be clear about what restrictions you have for yourself. 3.Know your limits with alcohol and or drugs. 4.Don't let peer pressure get you into doing something you don't want to do. 5.Be open with your partner after the event so no one can tell stories about your behaviour that could cause you problems.
Fantasy is something that is not real and is based on a made up version or story. When women see the near naked body of an attractive male entertainer, they project their desires onto that male. When they lose sight of the fact that what they create is in fact not real, they can behave in ways that break their own moral code.
Feeling sexually aroused or hot can take blood away from the brain into the genital area. The excitement, especially if it is accompanied by alcohol or drug use, can result in poor choices. A lonely wife or sexually frustrated woman can imagine she is the one desired by the provocatively behaving male. This is a great escape from the stresses and strains of real life. It is however not reality. It can lead to a dangerous situation.
Recognize:
1.Truth builds trust, so tell your partner the truth. 2.Sharing fantasies evoked by the girls' night can lead to a more adventurous sexual relationship with your partner. 3.Creating a new deal about what behaviour is alright for each partner from areas of conflict can strengthen the relationship. Different couples have different tolerance levels. 4.If you feel your behaviour needs to be hidden from your husband you are probably out of line. 5.If you are fantasizing about the entertainer after the event you need to talk to someone about your ideas. It is his job to get your fantasies churning not to fulfill them.
Using fantasy to compensate for a bad relationship will not help create the quality of life you desire. Using fantasy for fun and safe enjoyment is a great stress reliever. So fuel your fantasies and enjoy! At the end of the party go back to reality refreshed by laughter, fun and friendship!
Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed., is a registered marriage and family therapist and author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Marilyn is about the search for the authentic adult Self and Questing France is about holding onto the Self when facing infidelity in a marriage. Marilyn's book are available now. http://www.questpublishing.ca