Occasionally I use this joke in my seminars:

A mother of triplets is wheeling them down the street, and introduces her new arrivals to a neighbor:

"This is Mary, she's the future doctor; this is John, he's the future lawyer; and here's Megan, the best and brightest: she's the future salesperson!”

Sadly, few people, other than the most self-aware, are able to find their callings so easily.

In fact, I believe most people get to where they are, not because of parental guidance, or through goal setting on their own part.

They get to where they are, mostly by happenstance; by accident.

You can see them crawling down the highway, not in any hurry to arrive at work. Their bumper stickers proclaim: I'd rather be skiing, or fly fishing, or doing yoga—anything, in fact, other than what they are doing.

When they're at their desks, or taking an order at a restaurant, or filling in your insurance forms, they aren't really THERE, at all.

Don't get me wrong. They're not like that young guy in the next cubicle, wearing the Beatles haircut, who wants to be the star of a tribute band. He has a specific goal: he's a Wanna-be.

If their determination is strong enough, Wanna-be's will make it, and in the meantime, they don't really mind being in sales, or customer service, or working at Wal-Mart.

But Rather-be's don't have a specific goal. All they know is they don't want to be serving you. They suffer from, what sociologists call, "role incongruity.”

They just can't get into their work roles, and every one of their customers and co-workers pays the price, suffering through their perennially foul moods and shirking. Most of us settle into our work roles. They never do, seeming twitchy and ill at ease, always.

If you're a Rather-be, recognize it; get a goal, and step-up to Wanna-be status.

If you're an employer, practice distinguishing between the two.

One of them will come to work, try hard, and appreciate the chance to be subsidizing his dream.

The other will never be there for you, for customers, and ironically, for themselves.